The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

Content Warning: This section of the guide includes discussion of mental illness, emotional abuse, and illness.

Harris introduces the concept of emotional storms and presents strategies for managing them effectively. Harris explains that these psychological disturbances can manifest as various combinations of thoughts and feelings, from anxiety and anger to guilt and traumatic memories. He identifies two primary problematic responses to these storms: obeying them completely or struggling against them—both of which can occur simultaneously.

Harris presents an alternative approach called “dropping anchor,” which he compares to securing a boat in the harbor during rough weather. This technique does not aim to eliminate emotional storms but rather aims to maintain stability while they pass. The method follows a three-step formula remembered by the acronym ACE: Acknowledge thoughts and feelings, Connect with the body, and Engage in present activities. Harris emphasizes that this approach differs fundamentally from distraction techniques, as it involves actively noticing and accepting uncomfortable experiences rather than attempting to escape them.

The chapter includes specific instructions for implementing each component of the ACE technique. For acknowledging thoughts and feelings, Harris advocates adopting a curious, non-judgmental stance similar to a child’s natural wonder about the world. The physical connection step involves deliberate bodily movements, from pushing feet into the floor to gentle stretching.